Monday, January 24, 2022

Page 101

 to marry him. Me too, well I'm stupid, I would quit immediately..."

"But you have Mary!" I interrupt laughing. 

Mary. Solid, good, brave. I'm not ungrateful, believe me. But sometimes you can go a long way together and then go two different directions. It happens to many. It has happened to me too, but this time it wouldn't happen. Because I love you in my heart and I can't help it."

I keep looking beyond the window. I hear from his voice that he's terribly serious, he's not kidding. I would like to reach out to take a sip of gin and tonic, but I can't. It's as if I am paralyzed. As if waiting for an avalanche that is about to detach from the mountain.

"I love you. And then also. 'I love you' in Dante's language. And that means wanting 'the good' of the person you love. I know what you need to be happy. Even if you don't say it, I know. I would live to make you happy. Until the last of my days."

Here... the avalanche is breaking away from the mountain. It is about to fall and everything is about to end. It was so beautiful, and it's about to end. 

"Adriana. I would ask you to marry me if... if I didn't know you would say no."

My blood starts flowing again. I reach out, take the glass. I take one, two sips. The avalanche did not break off. It's still sunny outside. Beyond the window people pass and pass, here is another artist, another French, another black... 

"Let's go..." I say and get up.

He gets up. Looks at me. 

I look at him, smile at him and say: "Let's go along the Seine. Let's go and throw - together - those words into the Seine..."

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