Page 301

I asked him why he had started drinking again.

"The dwarf* got bored with his wife. My wife went back to being 'a devil in the house' and I came back to find understanding in the bottle. Now you will tell me that this will ruin me. I know. And I don't care."

In the uncertain evening light, the Lagoon had iron-colored reflections. A pigeon paced in front of my feet, followed by another, bigger. The first flapped its wings, got up, the second got up too, together they flew away. "I wish I could help you..." I said.

"You have already helped me. With your Ho guardato il cielo e la terra. You are not like those who need at least two universities to read them. You can speak simply and clearly. I liked your book." 

"I'm glad of it."

"I guess you must have had a lot of satisfaction." 

"Oh yes. A selection of poems has been read in the cultural circles of various cities, I have received many more than encouraging criticisms, they have even put my photograph in some newspapers. But, above all, I have received many, nice letters from...simple people."

"Your poems do good because they always leave a door open to hope. Too bad that, when I read them, I had already consumed all hope. By now I am closed in what you have called 'the terrible Silence without reason.' But I'm not making a rag of it. I'm used to it. " 

"Get out of it, Toni. You are looking for a job, a job, a reason to exist..."

"It was easy. From how I have been reduced, you would never think that once I was wearing a nice uniform, that I was at the head of a boat, I was good. Even in the fog I was good. Now, not even a ganzer could I do... not even a gondola would I be able to catch with the hook... I went to remengo, to remengo..."

* Nane, in Italian seemingly has a range of definitions from a lullaby to a dwarf but since a previous page seemingly referenced a dwarf I'm staying true to that previous mention though it's very likely wrong.